by Michael Lee, author of “The Abortion Bible”
As an author, I have come to recognize in life that in nearly every man’s life there are four women who shape and impact a man more than one imagines. These four women are mother, wife, sister, and daughter. And these women of the 21st century are in most cases no shrinking violets as in generations past who were stuck in gendered roles with limited life possibilities.
In writing my book “The Abortion Bible” as a tribute and affirmation towards women, I have attempted to follow the old Indian proverb that to understand someone you must walk three days in their moccasins. Having spent decades in academia and in the business world I have had a front row seat to the incredible advancements of women in nearly every area of life, many in my own family.
The modern 21st Century woman wants four things. Respect, Fairness, Opportunity, and Free Agency. Simply defined, these five words are agreed upon by all women across all cultures, ethnicity, ages, and station in life. These are the same five words that all men expect in their lives and take for granted. And when it comes to reproductive health, women trust themselves far more than a coercive state that wants to control their bodily autonomy.
Respect means that everyone is just as good as the next person and gender should not serve as a handicap in the workplace or in society. It is the soundtrack theme of the old Aretha Franklin song R-E-S-P-E-C-T that challenges patriarchal attitudes of men and how they treat women. Respect is a validation of the varied choices women make in their lives.
In my teaching experience I have witnessed a general shift in the classroom in which many females are more academically inclined and are more serious than many of their male classmates. Class rankings show that females are well placed to excel in a variety of disciplines and can also have the ability to outshine their male counterparts. I have seen a recognition among female students that there are more doors of opportunity open to them than in generations past.
There are many avenues of life pursuits that are often determined by circumstances of birth, family, and socio-economic status of the family one is raised in. Yet, respect from a classmate, a husband, a boss, a neighbor, or in general society should be a given and not an afterthought. Everyone desires to be treated with kindness, courtesy, and dignity. Of course, respect must also be earned by one’s character, honesty, and competence. It is a two-way street, but one that should apply to everyone, male or female fairly.
My wife reminds me that getting a fair shake means being treated as a woman on an equal footing based on one’s merit, skills, and education, and not penalized for being a woman. Shirley Chisolm, the first black Congresswoman said, “Tremendous amounts of talent are lost to our society just because that talent wears a skirt.” Stereotypes abound based on custom, culture, ethnicity, religion, and genetics that often pigeon-hole the opportunities of many women and the expectations placed upon them.
No individual wants to go into any situation where the deck is stacked against them right from the get-go. Many a dream can be crushed under the weight of unfairness. Everyone recognizes that life is in many ways unfair and that connections, nepotism, cronyism, and often sheer luck of being in the right place at the right time can be life changing. But to further penalize half the human race simply based on gender is a denial of progress in the 21st Century.
As a man, I love the women in my life, and I root for them. Opportunity means they get a fair shot and a level playing field having met the qualifications, standards, and experience necessary. She should be given due consideration on an equal footing that is not limited by gender stereotypes. It is about possibilities and dreams not being limited or denied.
In the research for my book on female independence, it is an interesting part of human nature of how we all make snap judgements in meeting someone new before any words are exchanged. Dress, race, gender, height, looks, weight, age, demeanor, and presentation are processed and categorized in a matter of seconds. Preconceived opinions are usually automatic. An enlightened individual needs to approach any such encounter by practicing the “Golden Rule” by actively attempting to place themselves in another’s shoes.
Free Agency in the 21st Century is critical for women to have freedom in the choices they make in life. It starts with personal bodily autonomy in which they are in control and not the patriarchal “big brother” state dictating control over a woman’s body. My book, The Abortion Bible, is a celebration of the possibilities and potential for all women.